And here is the problem. I find being fat more disgusting than smoking. Sure, I needed to gain some weight – I was almost 180, and looked like the drug addict I used to be, without the actual benefit (detriment) of BEING a drug addict. But I am gaining weight like a fucking load.
EASY ANSWER: exercise. And I should, and will. But I spent the past 18 years doing drugs to keep fit, and smoking (which I sadly am doing now...smoking that is). So how do I get back the exercise mode? I am feeling that smoking will get me thinner, but it certainly won't get me in shape. And truth be told, I HATE exercising if it doesn't involve actually DOING something (bike riding, walking to some destination.) PLUS, it is WAY more fun to watch the Sox & the 50,000,000 tv shows I dvr. So we all know what the issue is: I need a motivation.
And I am so disappointed that choosing to smoke is easier than to exercise. I feel so bloated that I wanna puke. And exercising is so much easier & better.
You know, I just answered my questions. Choose health over the easy way out. I guess I just wanted to vent. Thank you doctor, and my insurance will pay you for the 50 minute hour.
Peace & Love,